I don’t write First Person POV

Like at all.

I’m not sure why I’ve been so against writing it. For me, as a writer, there is something awkward and clumsy in my attempt to write it. As a reader, I struggle to get through many books written in the first person. Though frequently executed as a way of involving the reader into the story on a personal level, for me it has always been a struggle. I often don’t feel like the sort of reader who involves themselves that deeply into a story as to want to be that character.

I depend upon youtube for that, thanks very much. Or shipping. Who doesn’t love a good dramatic ship to tie their mast flags to and sail down into the seas of the unknown?

That’s not to be said that I haven’t done it. I have. Just not very well.

So the dilemma I have reached is in regards to a Young Adult fantasy novel I have debated on picking back up. My lead character is immensely secretive and I have thought that perhaps I could lead into some first person POV as a way of discovering her.

No dice. If anything, this character seemed to lock herself up even harder.

So this leads to a dilemma. Do you write to the market or do you write the book as it should be told according to the inner workings of a bitchy Muse?

As it stands, I write typically as to the whims of that bitchy Muse. They’re not very nice to me most days when it comes to writing. All I can do is write and hope it flows out of me at a good clip.

The complicated part of this process is that I’m not feeling the third person POV for this story. It feels wordy and overdone. The story itself is good. It’s a clear cut adventure and delve into the teenage psyche of a special child who really is against that specialness. I built this world years ago and set it aside because I didn’t feel ready to write it. But now, what with the isolation going on thanks to COVID-19, I feel pretty ready to pick it up again.

But which POV? The popular YA first person or the more comfortable third person?

Now the negative is this: I don’t want to be a 17 year old girl again. My high school years were emotionally stunted, crippling in a sense, and I don’t really want to revisit that head space.

But would that be lacking the authenticity I seek?

Or would it be better to keep going on my comfortable place, where I feel safer?

Gosh knows I don’t know. This week is going to be hilariously frustrating as I figure this out